简单的英语演讲稿【优秀3篇】

简单的英语笑话带翻译 篇一

blonde's appendicitis-金发美女的阑尾炎

a blonde has sharp pains in her side. the doctor examines her and says, "you have acute appendicitis."

the blonde says, "that's sweet, doc, but i came here to get medical help."

一个金发美女的腹部侧面感到剧痛。医生检查之后告诉他：“你得了急性阑尾炎。（金发美女听成acute 以为是a cute，一个可爱的阑尾炎）”

金发美女说：“您真贴心，医生，但是我是来求医的。”

little johnny.。. finding jesus 小强尼-寻找耶稣

a sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about jesus, so he asks his class, "where is jesus today?"steven raises his hand and says, "he's in heaven."mary answers, "he's in my heart."little johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "he's in our bathroom!"the surprised teacher asks little johnny how he knows this."well," little johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'jesus christ, are you still in there?！'"一名主日学校的老师担心他的学生们有可能对耶稣感到困惑，于是他问他的学生们：“耶稣今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬举起他的手，说道：“他在天堂。”玛丽回答：“他在我心里。”小强尼用力挥了挥手，脱口而出：“他在我们浴室里！”大吃一惊的老师问小强尼他怎么知道这个。“这个嘛，”小强尼说：“每天早上，我父亲起床后，都会敲浴室的门喊着？基督-耶稣，你还在里面啊？？”

little johnny.。. know it all 小强尼什么都知道

little johnny asks his mother her age.she replies, "gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.again his mother replies, "gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."the boy then asks, "why did daddy leave you?"to this, the mother says, "you shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his the way, johnny trips over his mother's purse. when he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.johnny runs back into the room. "i know all about you now. you are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 'f' in sex!"小强尼问他母亲的年龄是多少。她回答道：“绅士们是不会问女士们这个问题的。”于是强尼问他母亲她的体重是多少。他的母亲再一次回答：“绅士们是不会问女士们这个问题的。”于是这孩纸问：“为什么爸爸离开了你？”对于这个问题，这位母亲说：“你不应该问这个问题。”然后把他送回他自己的房间。在走的时候，强尼被他母亲的钱包绊倒。当他把钱包捡起来的时候，她的驾照掉了出来。强尼跑回母亲的房间说：“现在关于你的问题我都知道答案了。你36岁了，体重127磅，还有爸爸离开你的原因是因为你在sex上的考评是f！”（got an 'f' in sex，孩纸啊，你想歪了，那是“性别：女”啊……）

little johnny.。. definite definition 小强尼-肯定的定义

the preschool teacher says, "we're going to do vocabulary today. who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"mary raises her hand and exclaims, "me me me!"the teacher says, "go ahead, what's the sentence?mary replies, "the sky is definitely blue.""that's good, mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."sam raises his hand and states, "grass is definitely green."the teacher says, "that's good, sam, but grass can be brown, too."little johnny raises his hand and asks, "do farts have lumps in them?"

the teacher says, "no johnny, why do you ask that?"little johnny replies, "well, i definitely sh*t my pants."幼儿园老师说：“我们今天要做词汇题了。谁能在句子里运用“肯定”这个词？”玛丽举了手大声说：“我我我！”老师说：“你说吧，什么句子？”玛丽回答：“天空肯定是蓝蓝的。”“回答得不错，玛丽”老师点评道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的。”山姆举手说道：“草地肯定是绿色的。”老师说：“回答得不错，山姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的。”小强尼举手问道：“屁会结成块儿吗？”老师说：“不会的，强尼，你为什么问这个问题？”小强尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在裤裆里了。”

经同意转载自：

简单英语演讲稿 篇二

Being poor is not because someone is penniless, but mainly because of the lonely misery in his inner world. they are green-eyed, because they are never satisfied with what they have, but are always jealous of people who are successful or who earn higher salaries. they never look at other people's devotions and contributions, but with their habit of jealousy they always feel poor and uncomfortable.

it is more difficult to solve internal poverty. suppose we can look back at the past with the concept of wealth, how can we stay poor? we may well say chayi5.co chayi5.com m that wealth lies in your heart and we should know how to treasure it.

简单英语演讲稿 篇三

A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when theyre eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-oldkid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son, it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it cost?” And the father said, “I dont know, son. Im still paying.”

有个小孩爱上了另一个小孩，对方是学校的'同学。八岁或十岁左右的孩子有时会迷恋班上某个人，然后就以为自己恋爱了。因此这个八岁的小孩回家问他爸爸：「爸爸，结婚很花钱吗？」爸爸说：「是啊，儿子，非常花钱。」儿子又问：「要花多少钱呢？」爸爸说：「我不知道，儿子，我到现在还一直在付钱啊！」

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